It wasn’t but two weeks ago that I shared with my friends and family the news of our newest addition that was going to be joining us in early fall. We found out at that time that we were having a baby girl that was clear of many chromosomal abnormalities. We named our newest addition Quinn Rose. We were thrilled with this news and just awaiting her heart scan. Fast forward two weeks later and I was going to my normal appointment. I dropped Lexi off at school and Stella and I ventured into Lansing for our standard easy appointment. The office was happy to see Stella and I. Ron, Wendy or my mom did not join me because it was just going to be in and out quick. That was until Dr Maser checked for a heart beat. Stella was sitting next to me as the Dr scanned and scanned and scanned we heard only my heart beat. My chest started to get heavy with each passing second, I said to Dr Maser you know you have to scan me and he said yes. He took me into Glenna, the ultra sound tech and we again placed Stella on my side and started the scan. Dr Maser stayed the whole time until we realized Quinn had no heart beat. I could see a perfectly form little baby and no heart beating. I turned and said she has no heart beat he asked Glenna to do a couple different looks and still nothing. Two perfectly formed arms, two legs just no heart beat. I told the doctor I needed to call someone I was alone and Stella was beginning to feel my broken heart. She was beginning to cry. Dr Maser placed me in the same room I received the bad news about Eli and he stepped out to arrange things while I had time to call Ron and pulled myself together the best I could. Stella was having a hard time so I couldn’t be upset so I could calm her down. I prayed and told God I trust him and know he knows what is best. Dr Maser stepped back in and we went over my options.
I have pondered all day how do I tell everyone that I lost our baby after just posting to you all. I was in my 2nd trimester and had a lot of the testing back so I felt I was safe to share. My friend suggested I write hear and post it. If you read it you will know and if you don’t than that is fine as well. It was an exciting week with Stella’s first birthday and also a sad week with it being the anniversary of Eli and now we have another loss just so sad.
I do want to thank God for our perfect daughter and children. I will always be thankful for the gifts I have received and rejoice in the fact that God has many rooms!