9 months

It is hard to believe that just 9 short months ago our beautiful baby boy entered this world. Not a day or even hour has passed that I don’t think of our amazing Elijah Thomas. In these past months our family has changed in so many ways. We have been forced to grow in ways that no one ever wants to but also needs to.  This makes our family love more, it makes us appreciate more, it makes every joy greater. Our foundation has become even more solid. Things that use to upset us seem so small. I think about carrying Stella inside of me and also not a day or hour has passed that I am not thankful.

Ron and I were talking the other night and I was explaining that it had been a hard day for myself in regards to Elijah and feeling the sadness. The sadness not only for what I had gone through myself but also what Elijah went through. I read a few old post and was transported back to the room and the feeling. I remember clearly sitting next to Elijah’s bed and writing about what we were experiencing.  I remember the fear, the love, the hope, the heartbreak. I remember thinking I can’t share everything because I need people to have hope for Elijah. The truth is we don’t know what would have been in store for Elijah. He went through so much in such a short time, now I do know with all my heart that our special little fighter is in a better place and he is at peace.

Now sitting back after 9 months I think of all the prayers that were said, all the well wishes, all the hope and I think our little Stella Grace has received many of those.  It’s funny now when I feel Stella move inside of me it is nothing like how Elijah did. Eli was always active always pushing back if you touched him showing his fight. Stella is gentle she relaxes when I rub my belly, she seems at peace.  If anyone tries to feel her move and places there hand on my belly she stops it’s like she already is soothed by touch. I think it is from all the love and support we have received from all of you and also from God and Elijah her angel watching over his little sister. What a comfort and it is one I will always let her know.

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Stella Grace 24 weeks


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3 responses to “9 months

  1. Rebecca A

    Thinking of you… I know how the sadness can hit and am going through something similar as the anniversary of Gabriel’s birth/death draw closer in February. We had our anatomy scan & all looks perfect this time around. We are so thrilled! I am now 20 weeks with our new son and so excited!! Thoughts & prayers with you…

    Rebecca A

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