Feelings, thoughts, and dreams

The pregnancy and our lives are moving along at a rapid pace it hard to believe I am a couple of days shy of 19 weeks along, about half way there! Over the last week I have been struggling with sickness still, even going into be treated for nausea and dehydration (this is while I am still taking my medicine to help combat the nausea). My belly is swelling and everyday I am getting bigger and bigger. Stella is kicking and I can feel her a few times everyday. I have a heart monitor that I used with Elijah so I can listen to her heart beat every morning and night typically around 150 beats a minute. I have faith she is growing stronger everyday!

I write today because I have been having a hard time sleeping the last couple of nights due to my constant dreams. I am dreaming of Elijah a lot again. Reliving all we went through which would wake anyone up. I am looking down on the situation and watching it unfold, I wonder if this is because everyday we are getting closer to Stella Grace’s heart scan. The scan is scheduled for next Wednesday the 12th of December. I have also been asked to write about our experience with ECMO. I realize this is something I would have to work on greatly to be able to share, it is not an experience Ron or I ever want to relive, so maybe this request has triggered my dreams. Though I try to push thoughts and the scared feelings away I must be holding on to them for my sleep. I really do believe Stella is healthy in my heart but it is my subconscious that is making me nervous.

I know I ask for your help a lot, and again today I am asking for our friends and loved ones to pray for God’s grace on our family and for our precious Stella. “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep water in the day of my disaster the Lord was my support. He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:16-19

I can’t wait to come here next week and share our findings!

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Feelings, thoughts, and dreams

  1. Elaine/Dic Putnam

    You and family are in our thoughts and prayers
    Faith, Courage
    xoxo
    Elaine/Dic Putnam

  2. Jill

    Thinking and praying for you and your family Tera. Love ya!

  3. Will be praying for you. Everything is going to be just fine… But I, of course, understand your fear. I feel the same for my upcoming anatomy scan on 12/31. That is when we learned of Gabriel’s issues. Just going into that office gives me the chills and strikes me with fear/dread. I also understand the sleeplessness and dreams. I have been working with March of Dimes. They asked me to share my story in a video that would be played at their annual gala event. I didn’t sleep for the entire week before and cried every single day. Reliving it will do that for you. But, I did find it very therapeutic afterwards and felt such a sense of happiness that I had done something that made Gabriel’s life worth something. He was able to give back and have an impact and his life carried on. Hugs to you and prayers to you… I can’t wait to hear the good news!
    Rebecca A.

    • I keep having the feeling that once the Heart Scan is and Level II ultrasound is over I will feels better…however it could take until Stella arrives.
      I will also be praying for you as well!

  4. Sending huge hugs and prayers to you and your family…Blessings V

  5. Holly Corr

    About to pray for you. Just wanted you to know.

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