Here I am at my keyboard and I want to share and I am unsure of where to start. Summer is over school has started, the kids are gone and I am here all day with Izzo our special dog laying at my feet. It has been so long since I wrote I am unsure where to start but I was instructed to put my feelings down because it helps so much to look at things and my emotions for what they are. It has been a summer of healing, growth, love, strength, happiness, and still the feeling of loss but closely followed by the feeling of hope. The family has had the opportunity to travel and spend a lot of time together. We have enjoyed time with each other and also time with our close friends. I have a story I haven’t shared fully with many people and I always told Lexi I would share it, so this is what the blog will be about today.
While I was pregnant I received a gift from my cousin Shannon and Craig. I had told Shannon no gifts for a long time because the uncertainty of my pregnancy and what would happen, however finally the day came where I felt comfortable receiving gifts. If you know Shannon she loves to buy gifts and spoils you with her generosity and care of picking the perfect gift. We had all met, Alex, Wendy, Shannon, Craig, Myself and Ron for dinner at El Azteco. When Shannon arrived she was full of gifts one was a very special caterpillar. Everyone who followed Elijah’s blog saw the caterpillar with him all the time. We used it to prop his body from side to side to prevent bed sores, we used it lift his arms and legs it was his constant companion. After Elijah passed while we still sat holding our baby Ron said to only me Eli has turned into his butterfly as he was holding the little toy in his hand. The funeral came and went and I planted the Elijah garden that came from the special arrangements my sister made for the funeral as well as his miniature lilac bush, and a special grass called Elijah Blue. I was out back and Lexi was helping me and we were enjoying the bright sun shinning down on our bodies warming mine from the inside out. I looked sky ward and closed my eyes I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful monarch butterfly flying around Lexi and myself. I told Lexi of what her daddy had said and told her how I had just prayed to God while we were enjoying the sun and the garden and when I opened my eyes god had sent me the sign that he heard me and Elijah was safe. The beautiful butterfly stayed for a very long time with us and while we marveled Lexi went to get her daddy to show him. When Ron came out the butterfly landed right on Lexi’s hand we all were in shock! It then flew and landed on my arm and just stayed there, and then went and landed on Ron’s chest. Ron was even amazed! After a long while the butterfly flew away. We all spoke about the moment several times that night. I prayed that night and thanked God for that amazing moment. The next morning came and so did the sun again, Lexi and I went out to tend to Elijah’s garden again. While watering the very same butterfly came again and landed on my shoulder I was in shock and so was Lexi, we were so happy to see the beautiful butterfly again. We got Ron and we all marveled again. This happened for three days before the butterfly stopped coming around. I again Thanked God and went about our summer.
Picture taken by Lexi Farhat
Then August came and so did the family trip with Ron’s parents and our sister in law Cherri and nephew CT as well as our gang. At this point the entire family had heard of the Elijah butterfly story, and always were excited to see any butterfly after. I should tell you the trip we were on I had dreamed about taking Eli on. While I was pregnant I had though out what he would wear and got him the cutest wardrobe for him from Gymboree, it hand little green frogs on it. I had thought to myself while packing how it was sad to never take our son on a vacation and I had prayed at that moment for peace. Three days later the family headed out for the state park in Grand Haven to enjoy the beach. We all walked down the boardwalk and again the sun was warm and everyone was soaking it in, we took pictures, we laughed, the kids ran and played in the sand and beautiful Lake Michigan water. Ron and I were enjoying the sun sitting together when a beautiful Monarch Butterfly came in and landed right in front of us. Before I could think I called out Elijah is here to be with his family. I knew God had sent a sign of Elijah to me again. The kids were thrilled and we all took pictures and spoke to the butterfly. Every time Cherri spoke to the butterfly it would open its wings. It again stayed for a very long time with our family and it filled me with peace and I knew God has been listening.
I finally share this story, I wasn’t sure if some of you would think I was crazy writing it.It has taken me a very long time to decide to do it or not. However today while I was talking with my counselor she agreed with me on the magic behind this story. Also I am filled with hope, love, peace and joy in what is to come for our God!!!!