Monthly Archives: September 2012

Sweet Paige

You’ve guessed it right it is another Birthday week in our home and this time it is for our sweet Paige. If you know Paige you know we are not kidding when we call her that. She has the nicest, sweetest, loving heart I have ever know. She is rarely upset and just loves with such ease. She sees the good in everyone and it is very rare that Paige is in trouble or making pore choices she is just “pure” it the best way to put it. She loves to hug and give kisses, she holds your hand, cuddles on the couch, just is always loving. When I look back at Paige I can’t help but think if her loving nature is from her early struggles when she was brought into the world. Paige was a preemie, and a sick one at that. She was delivered at Ingham and transported at just hours old to Sparrow where she was put in the NICU. She had to be put on a ventilator for immature lungs, and given a chest tube from her body being under too much stress, she then got pneumonia. It was the first time in my life that true fear was a part. I prayed much like I did with Elijah for Paige, I cried, I begged and pleaded and I was heard. My little fighter Paige made it through with grace.

Looking back at Paige as a baby she was always sweet and loving she just sat sucking that binkie of hers with her glow of red hair. She was in awe of her brother and found out how to keep up with him very young. However Paige as a toddler was somewhat different, she was always sweet as can be but she became an explorer. She was curious and was always into things, she could climb like you wouldn’t believe and I many times found her in the top of the bathroom pantry or stuck somewhere because she figured out how to get in and couldn’t figure how to get out. She would not stay in her bed and every night you would hear the pitter patter of Paige making her way out of her bed and down the hall to our room. It was at this time she would crawl into our bed and sing to us. She loved singing Bushel and a peck, or Baby bumble bee. Paige was my child who would wander off on more than one occasion and  I would find myself in another absolute nightmare, both times at our neighbors visiting. However you would turn around for a second and this little girl would be gone. At my parents pool she would wander in with no adults in the water and just go right under with no fear she would look up at you while you were freaking out and just stare, when you pulled her up she wouldn’t cry or even fuss she would just look for the opportunity ti do it again, my first grey hair came then as well as more nightmares. Now to see her you would never imagine that out of her.

If you look at Paige now this would not seem possible, she now is a pleaser. She has amazing grades and does tremendous in school, she takes the laid back approach with her friends and can typically find a solution to conflict.She stays close to myself or the adults and always checks in and then goes back to playing. Paige is also the child that has gotten two concussions, broke her arm, suffers from a rare hemangioma disorder, and was diagnosed with Crohns Disease last year. She has faced a lot in her 9 years on this earth. She is a fighter and warrior when needs be, she is an explorer when learning, and she is grace. Paige knows she is loved by God and her family and friends and in exchange is able to be the best example of unconditional love I have seen on earth. Paige is the perfect example of love, faith and hope!

Image

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Ryan Mae

Image

Here I sit at the computer for a second time in one week, but this time it is about my amazingly beautiful little girl Ryan Mae! It is Ryan’s 7th birthday and I think back to all those years ago when my little blonde baby girl made her appearance in this world. She was born in the middle of the day and she was perfect, no complications just pure bliss. She was 6lbs 7oz and 21 inches long and the picture of a healthy baby unlike any baby I have ever had. She was wheeled out of the delivery room to our family who was waiting for her…My mom, dad, Aunt Wendy, Aunt Leanne, Uncle Mike, and of course Carter, and Paige. We were all instantly is love!Image

Image

Image

Ryan is a spunky little girl who is full of life. She loves to sing and dance and is always asking me to dance with her (like mother like daughter). Ryan is strong!!! I mean this in every way, she is strong willed, strong hearted, strong tempered. She lives her life full of passion! She lets you know when she is happy, when she is sad or even when she is tired. Ryan can communicate like no other child I know. She started talking in complete and precise sentences very young and she hasn’t stopped. She is helpful, a hard worker, loves to play with the boys outside, or play house with the girls. You will notice Ryan is always the mommy at house as she loves to nurture and love those around her or maybe it because she loves to have authority…haha. When we found out we were going to have a baby Ryan was so excited maybe the most excited if I dare say. Ryan would kiss my belly everyday she got out of her class at school and say Hi Eli. She was always singing to my belly and rubbing or talking to E. So for Christmas my mom bought Ryan an American girl doll while I was pregnant and she ordered it to look just like what Elijah looked like, she loved this baby boy doll like it was her very own, changing his diapers, feeding him, reading to him, loving on him, and sleeping with him. So it was to no surprise what an amazing big sister Ryan turned out to be for Elijah. She was nervous at first about being the big sister and asked for us to be patient because she was “new at this big sister thing”. But it only took minutes for Ryan to see her brother and fall in complete love with him. She went home and continued to pray for E. She prayed for him to get better, and to hold him, she asked God to take care of him. When she would come and visit she was never intimidated by the machines working on Elijah she would just march right in and pull up a chair to stand on. She kissed his hands, his feet and his head, she sang to him and she talked to him. She wanted to hold him and see him and always felt it unjust if a grandparent got to go in and she didn’t “it was her brother” she would state. When Eli passed she was broken hearted like us. She stills cries about missing her brother at least a couple times a month.

In telling about Ryan I hope you can see what a truly awesome little girl we have. She is full of spunk, full of love and full of life. Happy 7th birthday Ryan, mommy is so proud of who you are!!!!

Image

Image

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The butterfly

Here I am at my keyboard and I want to share and I am unsure of where to start. Summer is over school has started, the kids are gone and I am here all day with Izzo our special dog laying at my feet. It has been so long since I wrote I am unsure where to start but I was instructed to put my feelings down because it helps so much to look at things and my emotions for what they are. It has been a summer of healing, growth, love, strength, happiness, and still the feeling of loss but closely followed by the feeling of hope. The family has had the opportunity to travel and spend a lot of time together. We have enjoyed time with each other and also time with our close friends. I have a story I haven’t shared fully with many people and I always told Lexi I would share it, so this is what the blog will be about today.

While I was pregnant I received a gift from my cousin Shannon and Craig. I had told Shannon no gifts for a long time because the uncertainty of my pregnancy and what would happen, however finally the day came where I felt comfortable receiving gifts. If you know Shannon she loves to buy gifts and spoils you with her generosity and care of picking the perfect gift. We had all met, Alex, Wendy, Shannon, Craig, Myself and Ron for dinner at El Azteco. When Shannon arrived she was full of gifts one was a very special caterpillar. Everyone who followed Elijah’s blog saw the caterpillar with him all the time. We used it to prop his body from side to side to prevent bed sores, we used it lift his arms and legs it was his constant companion. After Elijah passed while we still sat holding our baby Ron said to only me Eli has turned into his butterfly as he was holding the little toy in his hand. The funeral came and went and I planted the Elijah garden that came from the special arrangements my sister made for the funeral as well as his miniature lilac bush, and a special grass called Elijah Blue. I was out back and Lexi was helping me and we were enjoying the bright sun shinning down on our bodies warming mine from the inside out. I looked sky ward and closed my eyes I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful monarch butterfly flying around Lexi and myself. I told Lexi of what her daddy had said and told her how I had just prayed to God while we were enjoying the sun and the garden and when I opened my eyes god had sent me the sign that he heard me and Elijah was safe. The beautiful butterfly stayed for a very long time with us and while we marveled Lexi went to get her daddy to show him. When Ron came out the butterfly landed right on Lexi’s hand we all were in shock! It then flew and landed on my arm and just stayed there, and then went and landed on Ron’s chest. Ron was even amazed! After a long while the butterfly flew away. We all spoke about the moment several times that night. I prayed that night and thanked God for that amazing moment. The next morning came and so did the sun again, Lexi and I went out to tend to Elijah’s garden again. While watering the very same butterfly came again and landed on my shoulder I was in shock and so was Lexi, we were so happy to see the beautiful butterfly again. We got Ron and we all marveled again. This happened for three days before the butterfly stopped coming around. I again Thanked God and  went about our summer.

Picture taken by Lexi Farhat

Image

Then August came and so did the family trip with Ron’s parents and our sister in law Cherri and nephew CT as well as our gang. At this point the entire family had heard of the Elijah butterfly story, and always were excited to see any butterfly after. I should tell you the trip we were on I had dreamed about taking Eli on. While I was pregnant I had though out what he would wear and got him the cutest wardrobe for him from Gymboree, it hand little green frogs on it. I had thought to myself while packing how it was sad to never take our son on a vacation and I had prayed at that moment for peace. Three days later the family headed out for the state park in Grand Haven to enjoy the beach. We all walked down the boardwalk  and again the sun was warm and everyone was soaking it in, we took pictures, we laughed, the kids ran and played in the sand and beautiful Lake Michigan water. Ron and I were enjoying the sun sitting together when a beautiful Monarch Butterfly came in and landed right in front of us. Before I could think I called out Elijah is here to be with his family. I knew God had sent a sign of Elijah to me again. The kids were thrilled and we all took pictures and spoke to the butterfly. Every time Cherri spoke to the butterfly it would open its wings. It again stayed for a very long time with our family and it filled me with peace and I knew God has been listening.

I finally share this story, I wasn’t sure if some of you would think I was crazy writing it.It has taken me a very long time to decide to do it or not. However today while I was talking with my counselor she agreed with me on the magic behind this story. Also I am filled with hope, love, peace and joy in what is to come for our God!!!!

Image

ImageImage

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

The butterfly

Here I am at my keyboard and I want to share and I am unsure of where to start. Summer is over school has started, the kids are gone and I am here all day with Izzo our special dog laying at my feet. It has been so long since I wrote I am unsure where to start but I was instructed to put my feelings down because it helps so much to look at things and my emotions for what they are. It has been a summer of healing, growth, love, strength, happiness, and still the feeling of loss but closely followed by the feeling of hope. The family has had the opportunity to travel and spend a lot of time together. We have enjoyed time with each other and also time with our close friends. I have a story I haven’t shared fully with many people and I always told Lexi I would share it, so this is what the blog will be about today.

While I was pregnant I received a gift from my cousin Shannon and Craig. I had told Shannon no gifts for a long time because the uncertainty of my pregnancy and what would happen, however finally the day came where I felt comfortable receiving gifts. If you know Shannon she loves to buy gifts and spoils you with her generosity and care of picking the perfect gift. We had all met, Alex, Wendy, Shannon, Craig, Myself and Ron for dinner at El Azteco. When Shannon arrived she was full of gifts one was a very special caterpillar. Everyone who followed Elijah’s blog saw the caterpillar with him all the time. We used it to prop his body from side to side to prevent bed sores, we used it lift his arms and legs  to help with circulation, it was his constant companion. After Elijah passed while we still sat holding our baby Ron said to only me Eli has turned into his butterfly as he was holding the little toy in his hand. The funeral came and went and I planted the Elijah garden that came from the special arrangements my sister made for the funeral as well as his miniature lilac bush, and a special grass called Elijah Blue. I was out back and Lexi was helping me and we were enjoying the bright sun shinning down on out bodies warming mine from the inside out. I looked sky ward and closed my eyes I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful monarch butterfly flying around Lexi and myself. I told Lexi of what her daddy had said and told her how I had just prayed to God while we were enjoying the sun and the garden and when I opened my eyes god had sent me the sign that he heard me and Elijah was safe. The beautiful butterfly stayed for a very long time with us and while we marveled Lexi went to get her daddy to show him. When Ron came out the butterfly landed right on Lexi’s hand we all were in shock! It then flew and landed on my arm and just stayed there, and then went and landed on Ron’s chest. Ron was even amazed! After a long while the butterfly flew away. We all spoke about the moment several times that night. I prayed that night and thanked God for that amazing moment. The next morning came and so did the sun again, Lexi and I went out to tend to Elijah’s garden again. While watering the very same butterfly came again and landed on my shoulder I was in shock and so was Lexi, we were so happy to see the beautiful butterfly again. We got Ron and we all marveled again. This happened for three days before the butterfly stopped coming around. I again Thanked God and  went about our summer.

Picture taken by Lexi Farhat

Image

Then August came and so did the family trip with Ron’s parents and our sister in law Cherri and nephew CT as well as our gang. At this point the entire family had heard of the Elijah butterfly story, and always were excited to see any butterfly after. I should tell you the trip we were on I had dreamed about taking Eli on. While I was pregnant I had though out what he would wear and got him the cutest wardrobe for Eli with little frogs all over it, from Gymboree. I had thought to myself while packing how it was sad to never take our son on a vacation and I had prayed at that moment for peace. Three days later the family headed out for the state park in Grand Haven to enjoy the beach. We all walked down the boardwalk  and again the sun was warm and everyone was soaking it in, we took pictures, we laughed, the kids ran and played in the sand and beautiful Lake Michigan water. Ron and I were enjoying the sun sitting together when a beautiful Monarch Butterfly came in and landed right in front of us. Before I could think I called out Elijah is here to be with his family. I knew God had sent a sign of Elijah to me again. The kids were thrilled and we all took pictures and spoke to the butterfly. Every time Cherri spoke to the butterfly it would open its wings. It again stayed for a very long time with our family and it filled me with peace and I knew God has been listening.

I finally share this story, I wasn’t sure if some of you would think I was crazy writing it.It has taken me a very long time to decide to do it or not. However today while I was talking with my counselor she agreed with me on the magic behind this story. Also I am filled with hope, love, peace and joy in what is to come for our God!!!!

Image

ImageImage

7 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized