Mother’s Day

Here I am sitting Indian Style on my bed writing about my mother’s day this year. I know many were thinking of me today and how would I handle this mother’s day? The truth is I am still a mother and have been for almost twelve amazing years, I have 4 children that are happy, healthy, thriving, and 1 that isn’t.  Though it hasn’t even been two weeks since we lost Elijah and it is still overwhelming sad, I am proud of the mother I am. I am even more proud of the moms around me who give me strength to be the person I am. First off my own mom Charlene, it was long ago when I use to say all I wanted to be when I grew up was to be a mom. This is because I had a blessed childhood, my mom loved me and made me feel safe, she taught me how to nurture and love my own babies. When I watched my mom I thought “yes” I think this looks great! I want to do the same thing, go on field trips, bake cookies, sing to Neil Diamond, go to ever sporting event, sit on the couch holding my kids to my side and them feeling safe and loved. Second to my sister Wendy, I see another amazing mom. Wendy is the mom that gives her children wings. She holds them in her nest and when it is time she lets them fly. Some of her children have been in the nest longer and some are explorers. Wendy holds them when needed and is loving, and kind, she lets them make decisions on their own, and explore who they are, she gives them enough knowledge and lets them choose. Wendy you teach me how to let go of everything and let my kids explore. Next is my Grandma, it is funny when you think of your grandma’s or at least when I think of my Grandma Parry, I think I have learned so many life lessons from this woman. I look at her and I see the pillar of our family. I see how she loves us so unconditionally, how she is a faithful woman and how she has taught her family this through stories. Some of these stories are of her youth, some of my dad, uncle, and aunts youth, some of my youth with my cousins, and some are bible stories. My grandma can tell the best stories I have ever heard and at 91 years of age still keeps me captivated with her life lessons. These three woman made me the woman and mother I am today. Of course I am surrounded by so many other special woman who may fill in a missing piece of me, but the majority of the work can from them. So as far as I’m concerned I am not letting a mother’s day go without feeling like I am teaching my own daughters how to become amazing mother’s, even with sadness. So today we played, we prayed, we danced, we sang, we did somersaults, we ate, we hugged and kissed, exchanged “I love you’s”, and had a great day together.

I did however have a part of my day that was dedicated to Jesus. In the middle of mother’s day brunch I went and told Ron I want to go to church he said OK and off we went. As the lights went low and the band started to play these lyrics where sang over us and they instantly brought tears and the lump in my throat. The lyrics were “I need you Jesus to come to my rescue, where else can I go? There’s no other name by which I am saved. I will follow you, I will follow you, I will follow you”. These words spoke to where I stand with God. I was feeling lost and needed to be rescued and still need this. I tried to sing these words out to Jesus but every time I started my lump would not allow music to come from my mouth, it was more like a cracked voice crying out, the tears steadily flowed from my eyes and I didn’t even care who saw. My heart was crying out and being spoke to at the same time. Next Steve our Pastor is teaching of the book of Ruth, seems fitting since this is my grandma’s name. He teaches us how God wants us to take INITIATION (recognize appropriate opportunities and proceed with Faith). Next Steve teaches on COURAGE (Put your full confidence in God). Then on LOVING KINDNESS (be loving and kind towards others). Lastly the lesson was on INTEGRITY (Demonstrate integrity). I think to myself we did this through out experience with Elijah and I feel relief. This gives me the strength to go and be the mom I was made to be and feel blessed again, even though sadness came and went today, I remembered how blessed I am. Thank you Jesus for coming to my rescue, I will follow you!